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Mittwoch, 14. Juni 2017

We change, take it or leave it!

I remember about many discussions in the past when it was repetitively said: "we do not change, our essence stay for ever! We do not change behaviours, we do not change our beliefs or the manner we act / react! So never try to change someone, it cannot be done!"
I never agreed with that, but I also never could explain to others that yes, we definetly change during the journey of our life!
There are more than 20 years since those discussions and now I believe I understand and I can say more about changing.
20 years I was in a sort of manner the biggest enemy of myself and the most of the people are the enemy of themselves.
And I never knew it because in my beliefs, all what I did it was perfectly right. I always was sure that my way, my act, my reaction, my indications, my beliefs are the right ones. I criticized all and everything because due to my beliefs everything and all should be perfect. I really did believe in PERFECTION and BEING PERFECT and I mean not only myself, but all others and the world can and should be perfect (without really knowing what "perfect" does it means, but I was young and stupid, let's say it so now :-)). I was sure, being pro-active and criticizying can change the others, can change the world. Later in my life I got it that world (not people, but world!) changed me but I still was far away to understand the point, the Real Point!

Now I know that I did anything wrong so far I was sure I am right. Now I better understand the relativity of wrong and right. Now I understand .... how wrong I actually was and how much harm I did to myself. 
On our IM Coaches Group from all over the world two guys had the initiative to work for a survey which could help us all having a great support - a much better one - from IMU. Because we pay a yearly fee to be members there and the services we get are almost not existent and everyone is complaining over the last 12-14 months.
So, these two guys did a survey, from 260 members only about 60 responded and at the end we all got a .pdf-document of almost 30 pages with the results.
And then it started to happen ....
Most of us are very happy about the initiative and have thanked for the work the two guys did. 
And it suddenly came a comment like: "It seems someone like to play with the forms and colors without thinking to the readers so that it is so difficult to read the document". No "thanks" at all, not a suggestion or so, just a criticism. I've read the document and I found it amazing through the amount of work enclosed there, so that I just ignored the small difficulties.

At that moment I had a strong flash-back ..... I saw myself during the 20 years of criticism and frustration and being unsatisfied and unhappy all the time, not taking the responsability over what happens into my life, refusing to open for changes and so on .... (it is much more to explain here, it is not about refusing, it is about timing, being prepared for such of processes etc. I was not able to open is the right formulation I think).

I wrote a comment to that comment: "Somehow when somebody has an initiative and does something which helps others too and does the entire work, at the end it always come a new one to criticise, right?"
Wow! I thought: "And now Anca, you are in troubles. Again. You are back .... WTF?!"
I've read the guy's comment again and it disturbed me again, it felt as totally unfair and not constructive at all for our community. Then I've read my comment to that comment wishing to be a positive approach somehow. My desire was that the negative comment of the guy does dissapear from there.
So ..... and the guy who criticized contacted me on private message and said: "Thank you Anca for letting me know how wrong I am!"
And he really deleted his comment, how awsome is that?!
It is not about I am happy with that, it is about I realized how change in our essence is possible. I was happy to see the reaction of the guy and his openess to think again about the impact of his words and evaluation. A great guy! In my past years I was not so great, because I was unable to understand the impacts ....
Now, when I know about the energies flow and the connections all over the places, now when I know that I have the life I build and WE have the world WE BUILD through our way of thinking, reacting, speaking/talking ..... now I feel the sense of this life and the mechanisms of it.

No, we cannot change somebody just because WE WANT. The Change has to come from the inside of that person. There is no other way.

Somebody you love had an accident. You write down on a group: "Somebody most of us know and love had an accident. Do not ask who is it. Just pray for him, send him the good energies of your thoughts."
A very beautiful initiative. But if I don't know who is the Receiver of my positive energies which I can create especially for him/her, my positive thoughts are going to float all over the places and can or cannot reach the actuall Receiver.
So I asked about who that person is.
His subconscious is probably working for him to save him, to get better, to be healthy again - this is his only chance. 
His subconscious will meet his conscious at a particular moment and that will meet my (our) created and sent energies for him and then the Synergy is taking place for a real proces of healing and recovery. And sometimes is happening almost instantly, believe it or not, it is your choice to believe it or not!

What I wanted to say also by this example:
We mostly have positive, good intentions. But we often miss some details about giving sense of the whole process. Sometimes it's about logic, mostly is about ignorance. And then, if things does not work out in the manner we wanted, we tend to say others are guilty.
It is mostly about taking the responsability of what we think, say, transmit, ask for, understand or not understand.

We never are guilty of anything (Guilt is a very negative Emotion inducted often by church, by others. Guilt is poison in our life, in our world, it destroys a lot), we are just ignorants about so many things because we are not educated to understand principle of life in the manner they really work out for us. And because we still are working to discover and to understand about the whole Potential of the World, of the Universe and of Us as human beings. 
Just think about the fact sickness is the result of your thoughts and health is also the result of your daily life approach. 
Just understand that anything is possible and due to this principle there are no such things as accidental. Every event in our life was attracted by us! All we have or we do not have, all we get, all we miss - it is the mirror of our thoughts.

We are today what we thought yesterday and will be tomorrow what we are thinking today. So simple is that!  

About myself being what I became:
I had to change country, to change life, to die for about 18 months and to be reborn for learning and taking life from the start in a way!
You can avoid such of long processes if you just pay attention, if you open to "irational" world, if you ask questions and stay receptive to replies and signs around you. 
Take my advice and try to avoid "that huge crisis" in your life which will bring you out of life and out of yourself. Avoid it, because not all of us getting in the hole are then able to get out to the light again. The borders are terrible thin ..... 

I'm WATCHing YOU!! :-)