Dieses Blog durchsuchen

Montag, 5. September 2016

Raining in September

Exactly when I thought this autumn will be not a sick one and not a melancholic one, today it came over me ..... a little bit from both.
It was raining the most part of the last night and the most part of today. For the first time since April I was not able to go to Linz, to the academy. I lost an important day of learning something new, but I really was not able to leave the house. In the first day of school begin in Low Austria .... I did not go to school!!!
Working on Friday, working on Sunday, training on Sunday morning ..... 
Today it was really a very "vintage" day. All day in my blue silky sleeping suit among books and old family pictures, finding new information and swimming again in the past, flying in the future and thinking about the present.
About the past and family history:
I found some historical letters and post cards from 1916 and from the 3rd Reich of Germany!! And lot of pictures of the family of my grand parents.
It was the day of cleaning out my "friends"-list on Facebook. I do this twice per year. So another 200 names there dissapeared for ever from the list. What's the point?!
I find strange that the number of follower is increasing, almost 200 ..... hm .....
It is dark and chilli, two windows are largely open and the wind is blowing his spirit over the open space. Oh, how I missed this ..... air, a lot of fresh air in the room, in the house ..... cold air in the evening atmosphere, a piece of real life in my soul ..... I missed this so much, so much .....
 I feel really special in this house and I cannot define. I never have had this feeling in my life before ..... never!
I'm sometimes just going through it from an end to the other ..... I often make small changes. I still did not solve the "book placing issue", I still did not solve the clothes organising issue, I still have some chaos and empty cartoons around ..... but exactly these kind of "small things" are killing me and take a lot of energy and time. I still did not find solutions for everything. I still have a shelf to mount, but zero energy for it. 
I am glad about passing the first exam last Monday and I am looking forward for the next one in about six weeks. A pretty short time for the entire stuff we have to learn and to exercise. 
A very melancholic September will lead me into a new year of my life.
P.S. The only "good" thing I could do today it was to post on my professional site. I am glad to see I can access it again, at the access was suddenly blocked by the internet provider, without any clarifications. I thought I will kill somebody around me that Friday evening as I wanted to work on it and I had no chance to do it! 
And I did something special today:
I was listening how the gras is growing up!
 I thought about friendship. Is there any drop of friendship if you are not able to ask, to discuss, to find out, to understand, to explain and to go further into the friendship without closing the door from outside?!
I was told 11 years ago, by some strangers: "We have few friends. It is enough for us. We are very precaution about letting new people in our life. From old friends we always know what to expect. From new people we never know what to expect. So, we keep precaution and distance. He help out, but ...."
Now, after 11 years, I admitt this is the a good protection for your soul. I have to learn this. Again. 
And, again, I feel ..... like in the picture below ........
8.9.2016 - the gras is growing and I am listening how it is growing .....


Keine Kommentare:

Kommentar veröffentlichen

I'm WATCHing YOU!! :-)