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Montag, 23. Februar 2015

Running after the day light ... catching it, feeling it, letting it free

Finally are the days longer. But Vienna stubbornly remains hidden in the gray shadows of a sunless sky ....
Somehow half a year is passed away without training sessions. Yes, it is really incredible ... six months .... I feel like somebody is stealing my life, my time and living in my place.
Yesterday I was crazy. Again. 
A new grey sky all over, no sun,
no smile, 
no move, 
no people, 
no dogs, 
no cats ... 
no nothing and anybody. 
The natural tranquility which I love in an early cold Sunday morning. 
I tried to run the day before. Five km in 35 minutes. 
Then a break.
3 km walk - it was very sunny yesterday! -.
Then 5 km slowly run back. 
One week before I felt like I was over 80, now I felt like I was over 50. Of course I have no idea how 80 is felt, I never was 80!! About 50 .... I can guess, I am not so far away :-) :-(
So, Sunday at 11 a.m. I left home. 
Winter gloves, 
winter cap under the helmet, 
two pieces of trousers, 
thermo-socks over the SPD-shoes and 
my actual audio-book. 
And my road bike, of course.
Riding to Tulln on the Danube Bike Road is a fascinating stuff when no people on it. 
Some other crazy and over ambitious cyclists were on the road cycling with amazing speeds, some of them on heavy mountain bikes struggling themselves to ride with the same amazing speed as they would ride a road racing bike!
The first two kilometers are going through the place I am living in on winding streets and I never count them as I have to pay attention and to stop for every intersection - and are plenty of it, 12!
After two kilometers I reached the river and going right I am already along the Danube on the Danube Bike Road to Greifenstein, Tulln, Krems etc.
It was an interesting long ride and listening my audio-book was very relaxing. I forgot about everything. 
About myself. 
About wishes.
About plans.
About worries and 
about the questions  and wondering like ”if”.
And so on.
After 32 km I stopped and turn on cycling back home. 
After 77 km per total I reached home in the incipient soft rain drops and after few minutes I was inside the rain started. 
And it rained for hours until late in the night. 
I was lucky, I suppose.
Today I decided not to give up and go by bike to work, the 12,5 km. I was late. Again. 15 minutes late already. Du schande!
Riding in the morning on day light was a good feeling after the darkness of the last months. Totally sweated and without any breath I reached my office after a ”speedy” cycling of 30 minutes (yeah, the 2 km through the city are the reason of being so slow).
My working hours end at 5 p.m. and I could not wait to go back home by bike again. 
Fast, fast, faster .... 
running after the day light, 
trying to catch it, 
            to feel it, 
              to smell it, 
                to talk to it, 
                  to love it ....
The day light disappears so suddenly .... really .... I am tired of seeing it disappearing and being on the way only by darkness .... somehow this time I did not love it at all ....
I could left the office only at 5:26 p.m. I had no frontal light, only a very small flashlight.
So .... voila! Me running after the day light :-)
It was a strange ride for 10 km with a speed coming from the sky. Ten km in 18 minutes .... me running after the day light .... not because I was in rush, but just because .... just because I felt like that. Wanting to run after the day light. No special reason. 
After I was told about my kidney tumor one week ago my nights and days are a little bit different. Waiting for the next investigation for a more clearly diagnostic is a crazy time, I have to say it. Six weeks is a long time and I still try to find a faster date. Otherwise .... if I feel I am going crazy indeed, I should decide to pay the investigation in a private clinic. Money .... I hate it, I love it, I need it, I would like not to need and love it. I am just a stupid city girl, right?

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